Writers Gonna Write- Or Not

What happens to a writer if they don’t write? More importantly, what happens to this writer when she doesn’t write? I used to figure that you weren’t a writer anymore. When I first posed this question I didn’t really consider myself a writer, just an amateur scribbler, so it didn’t cut my confidence like it does now. Now that it’s one of my primary endeavors there’s not much else I can call myself. So what am I when I’m not writing?

As you might have guessed, it’s been a couple weeks of a dry spell out here. The longer I don’t write the more I’m afraid that I’m not really good enough to do this job. That I’m not talented enough, too lazy, you get the picture. Sadly things in life come up that takes precedence over everything else, including writing. If I don’t voluntarily give it time then it ends up taking it and I just feel worse. It’s been a tough couple of weeks there just wasn’t space or energy for creative endeavors. That means that my pretty writing callender has a lot of black X’s and it’s that much harder to get started.

For me not writing creates practical problems as well as existential ones. It means losing momentum, which sucks. When I’m writing regularly I’m constantly working on new scenes. New scenes get me excited and make me want to write more. When it’s been a few weeks like now the scenes that I was working on before I stop have time to get stale. They don’t pull me back to the page. So then I have to do the long, tedious work of writing out a scene I no longer have interest in to get on to a new scene that I do. More than that I miss it. There’s something about writing that is an outlet for me that I don’t get anywhere else. Sometimes I love it, sometimes I hate it, but I always need it. Going without even when necessary is hard.

Things are finally easing up so it’s time to start writing again. I’m just writing blogs today, hoping that will gear me up to get back into writing tomorrow. I miss it already, but I’ve needed my time away. My hope is that I’ll learn how to accept my limitations and not give into the fear that a couple weeks means that I’m a failure forever.